Saturday, 1 April 2017
Whats that job
"Welcome everyone! I'm your host Larry Hokem, and this is What's that job, the game show in which contestants try to guess what job is being done. We have selected the first three players that could correctly spell the word boat, and now let's meet them."
"The first player is Captain Festus. Tell us a little about yourself." "My name isn't Captain, it's Capt. You see my pa was a little bit in his cups when he filled out the birth certificate. He meant to spell Capy, and he kinda screwed up. I'm a truck unloading trainee at Waldomart." "Well that's certainly interesting Capt, let's now meet Bobby. I understand you're in the music business Bobby, do you play in a band?" "No Larry, I download music albums from a website in Transylvania, and sell them at flea markets. Say this isn't being recorded is it?" "No Bobby, it's just being taped, so don't worry about it. And now on to Howie. Say that's quite a hook your sporting, and what in the world happened to your eye?" "Well Larry, I bet a friend I could get a wild wolverine to eat a steak from my hand, and it didn't exactly work out like I thought it would. I keep forgetting I have the hook, and I scratch myself when I get itchy, you should see my butt." "Oh my Howie, that is a facinating story, just don't get too excited today."
"Okay, you know how the game is played, I'm going to show you a picture, and you have one minute to write down your guess about What's that job."
"Let's see what our contestants guessed, starting with Capt who wrote "getting a jug job", nope, but nice try. Bobby said "filling the windshield fluid", sorry Bobby that's not right either, and Howie guessed "fixing the frig", no Howie, that's not correct, there is no frig in the pictures. Lets go to the next picture in the job sequence, and your one minute starts now."
"Okay, let's see how they did, starting again with Capt, who wrote "getting new jugs," you seem to have a jug thing going Capt, but no. Bobby penned "what is a empty space." No Bobby, and this isn't Jeopardy. Howie guessed "cleaning the slime." Well it is dirty Howie, but that's incorrect. Lets have the next picture."
"The minute is up, let's see what they guessed, this time starting with Bobby who guesses "making a CD smuggling place." Ah, no Bobby, that's not it. Howie has taken a shot at it, and wrote "making a ho." Interesting spelling Howie, but that's a nil, and Capt, let's see what you thought. Hmm, "making room for bigger jugs" won't cut it Capt, you seem to have a one track mind."
"This is the last picture folks, so give it your best. We will start with Bobby, you guessed "stealing copper wire to sell." I don't think so, and no you can't have my address. Capt? You really think the job is "looking for jugs", absolutely not, you don't have a girl friend do you? Okay Howie, this is your last shot, what did you write. "Looking for string." Well it's not right, but at least there is a string in the picture, so I will give you a point, and you win the home version of "What's that job." That's it for our show, and thanks for playing along at home. We will leave you with the first picture for next week's "Whats that job", and the word you have to spell is manure, so get started practicing now."
Pull door off, remove oil container, it's full, spill some on the deck, mutter, remove access hatch, still can't find transducer wire, force screw driver through gooey transom hole, still can't find transducer wire, mutter more, unclamp engine power lead, and find tip of screwdriver behind, gouge out inches of goo to free wire, pull in string, cut connector off of transducer wire, original transducer wire tie wrapped to harness, use best invective words, no conduit, use mirror, and flashlight, two hours later get fish in, pull god forsaken wire to console, splice connector back in, replace floor, put oil containers back in, spill more oil, clean up inside, replace hatch, clean up deck, wash filthy hands, bovine scatology at its worst.
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